Cali

Tim announces
Originally uploaded by StoopidGirl.

Well, you may not recognize the famous person in this photo , but this is Fireball Tim and he's famous for various behind the scenes stuff and is making a cross over with numerous projects. A lot of them are underway, some of which I am having the pleasure of being involved. He has designed cars for all sorts of movies (Jurassic Park, Gone in 60 seconds) as well as Monster Garage (hence the reason Jesse James punched him in the arm at the races). This is Tim doing the announcements at the Irwindale Raceway last weekend for bunches of people. About 35-40 Mini Coopers got to drive around the track for the opening ceremony. My boyfriend got to drive Tim's car the Mach 3 and blow it's "farm animal" noises horn. It was a good day.
Once again this is a short update as I'm hopping on a plane in a few hours and it's back to Cali for me.
Sing it with me
"I'm going back to Cali, to Cali. I'm going ba...."

Hallelujah it's raining Stars

Sorry for the lack of updates, I’ve been super busy. I did manage to go to LA last weekend and am going again this weekend. While out there I saw a bunch of famous people. It was like a sea of stars…ok not really. It was my involvement and obsession with Mini Coopers that allowed me to have my wee little brush with fame. I met some of the stars and others flew by so quick I didn’t even know it was them. The only person I got a picture of was Jesse James and I didn’t even get to be in the photo. I will post some of the pictures from the weekend soon. Until then here is my list;

Jesse James (Monster Garage) He punched FireBall Tim’s arm…yes on purpose, it was a love tap.

Sandra Bullock (so perty) she’s a fast walker

Ryan Cabrerra (Ashley Simpson's teeny bopper singing Ex) I should probably be ashamed of myself for knowing his name. I am not ashamed that I would love to take my scissors to his head

Tone-Loc (he sounds so smooth) Another fast walker
Me;“Hey that sounds like Tone-Loc”
Friend; “Emily….That was Tone-Loc.”
Me;"Oh”

Larry Guterman (director of Cats & Dogs) Nice fellow…ridiculously green eyes…he must be an Alien

And the Name game continies

It is time once again for me to post the updated list of the "What were their parent's thinking?!" names. These are names I see on a day to day basis and giggle at, as I am the all mighty cubicle dwelling paper pusher during the day and at night I'm a lazy yet creative nerd girl.
So here you have it, a list of people who probably wanted to shoot themselves growing up due to the amount of play ground torture they received. I will excuse the ones who have names with Asian decent, they are exempt due to the fact that it is probably a normal name in their culture where we Americans get a good giggle from it. Some are funny, some are cute, and some are just down right wrong. Ahhh mindless entertainment, can it get any better?

Hung Duong (wife, Mi Duong)
Li Qing Wang
Woody Roper
Sach Ryder
Harry Panis
Pearl Tang
Rich Tang
Ta-Me Cherry
Happy Johnson
Richard Stiff
Luice Yang
Ivory White (black guy)
Rock Groupe
Cat Hart
Toy Hart
Theodore Strange III
Tuesday McClain
Bo Ho
Dung Ho
Laguna Pu
Juan Valdez
Bryan A.Ferari
Candy Camero
Fancy English
Warren Tittlemier
Mark S. Life
Randy Cloud
Frank S. Arce
Brooke Sky Blue
Zenon Butts
Vu Do
Joy Butts
Comfort Banjo
Christian Antkow
Jay Walker
Harry Smiley
P.Marker
Anneta Boozer

Overwhelming Cuteness

I know I've posted my ridiculously cute baby bunny photo before but today I'm posting it again with another shot so you can see his actual size. This is an old photo which I never posted until I woke up this morning and realized my boyfriend had posted it on a forum. I took this photo to show how small the baby bunny really was. People seemed to misunderstand his itty bitty-ness because of the camera angle and kept asking why he didn't run away. Well, now you know, it's because he was super small and all cute and wiggly and shaky and stuff.I took these photos when I went to help a friend excavate some land so he can start building a house. During the day we came across this baby bunny. These are the rabbits that run free throughout Arizona and most people consider them pests. We see the grown-ups quite often but it's rare we see the babies. I love seeing them in my neighborhood and besides, it's their land too. I held on to him for a while and then walked him to a safer spot so we wouldn't hurt him with our big scary human machines. Before anyone jumps on me saying I shouldn't have touched the baby bunnies with my human scent, well, I had no choice as stopping the excavating was not an option and I'd rather take a chance at moving thim then watching the little guy get chopped up into lots of little pieces.

Ass Kicking

So for about a month I've been playing around with the battle of the blogs. I've won some and I've lost some but there has been one person who consistantly kicks my ass. After numerous whippings I decided I would threaten her. And threaten her I did....muwah ha ha ha! I threatened her the only way I knew how...With a .JPEG!
So here it is, this is for little Miss Tracy over at Winged Emotion. It's also for anyone else who has kicked my ass and made me like it, you know who you are. Yes yes, I'm a dirty little whore, tell me what else is new? But at least I'm a clean dirty little whore....um...yeah

Just for the record...I kicked Tracy's ass on a battle today! Woot! There's always a first for everything. Even though it took me like 20 tries.

How do you know when you spend too much time on the Internet?

When your boyfriend wakes you up in the middle of the night and informs you that you were sitting upright in bed, typing on an imaginary keyboard, and complaining the website you are viewing sucks because it doesn’t have what you’re looking for.

How do you know when you’re going to grow up and be obsessed with the humor of bodily fluids?

When you’re 10 and your mom informs you that you were sleep walking, had woken her up, proceeded to do an impressive display of the “Pee pee dance” exclaiming that the bathroom was too far for you to make it, and you’d much rather pee in the “Crayon bucket”. You then proceeded to go back to bed. Now ever since the incident you tell the story like it had some great significance to your life.

FrankenFeet

This is an older story of mine but for some reason it was never posted over here. I also submitted this in my creative writing class for an assignment, I don't remember the teacher being too amused. So for todays post I subject you to;
FRANKENFEET!

I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it! Today I came to work just like any other day. I was pleasantly minding my own business when, WHAM! One of my coworkers walks by with sandals on. Did I just see what I thought I just saw? Yes sir, I sure did! There it was one lonesome, mangled toe. It was long, curved and hanging over the end of his sandal waving and saying "Top of the morning' to ya!”

I kid you not, the little guy just winked at me rendering me speechless and frozen to my spot with eyes glued downward. Seeing this atrocity brought to mind a few very important questions. What is worse, showing off five scary frankentoes, or just the one? I am guessing the others ran away in fright because they are most certainly not attached. What is my can of chunky chicken noodle soup I brought for lunch made of? I think I now know where the other toes ran off to. And last but not least isn’t it easier to manicure feet with a total of six toes rather than ten? It appears I may be wrong.

This is not the first time I have encountered such a shock resulting in a shutdown of all my verbal skills. I once had a friend who was a chronic sandal wearer (I fear the coworker might be as well). He had this one toe with two nails on it like little horns. I understand being proud of who you are. All I ask is, do not get mad at me when I can not focus on your eyes while having a deep philosophical conversation with you because my attention is focused on little baby Igor. He looks cold, you should tuck him in. PLEASE! For crying out loud, put the bugger away. I am not in the mood to play with him and give him kisses. “Oogy boooogy boo, does wittle baby Igor want to pway?” Now you would think that only common folk are struck with this desire to show off their mangled midgets, but nooo. One of the most famous people on this planet likes to show off their little piggies. Then again, I have always suspected Paris Hilton was an alien.

So there I was

Sitting on the couch watching television with two girls when one of them made a funny cat noise with her mouth. I don’t remember what we were watching but it was funny and we all laughed. Then she did it again….and again….and again. Finally I looked to the girl on my left and said “If she does that one more time I’m leaving.”. Well guess what? She did it again, so I stormed upstairs. This didn’t help, I could still hear the annoying cat noise over and over like a broken record. Right when I was about to go back downstairs and shove a shampoo bottle down her throat and yell “You have overstepped your bounds of funniness, go back to hell you spawn of Satan!” I Then realized it wasn’t her at all. It was me! It was my nose making the obnoxious squeaky noise. I rubbed it and picked it (I love picking my nose) but to no avail. It wouldn’t stop and it was driving me insane. Finally I went for a walk hoping the fresh air would clean my clogged sinuses. A few minutes passed and my eyes opened. Something had just awoken me. I looked at the clock, it was 5AM! It wasn’t my alarm, I’ve got 2 good hours left. “Squeeeeeeeak!” It was my nose! My squeaky nose had subconciously entered my dreams. Ahhhhhh! I picked it…it was the mother of all loads (yay). The noise stopped. (Insert sigh of relief). You mean to tell me I could have done this an hour ago and had restful sleep? Damn you nose from hell! Damn yoooooooou!!!!!

I need coffee

Words

I love it when conversations don't happen the way they are planned.
Here's an example of a conversation between my other half and I. Take note that when he calls me bad words it just means I'm special.

HIM; What are those girls called on the airplanes?
ME; Hostess'?
HIM; No idiot, the ones from the 50's
ME; Ummmm...Attendants?
HIM; No asshole, the ones on the outside of the planes.
ME; Oooooh, Pin-up girls!
HIM; I love you
ME; Me too stinky poo face!

House of Stoo

By BlueDonutKing

Based on a self portrait

It has come to my attention lately that a lot of female bloggers use sexy cartoons in their layouts when they in fact do not look anything like those cartoons (I've done some research and it's usually quite the contrary). That's fine, I like sexy cartoons, some of them are fucking hot as hell. Anyway, I have never put a sexy cartoon on my blog or in my layout, nor am I HTML talented enough to do so. But I have had some cartoons drawn of me by some extremely cool and talented individuals...and yes, these cartoons reflect what I look like. Check my Flickr if you don't beleive me, I'm a real girl who was once an ugly duckling.

Enjoy and please check the links for more of their art.

By the fabulous Shark

By the fabulous Shark

By Mike C.
Based on a self portrait

SUV Relief Fund

Are you tired of having too much money? Is being rich (or at least faking like you’re rich) having too much of a burden on you? It has come to my attention recently that there must be some stressed individuals in the world over having too much of everything. Day after day I see these poor souls who must be absolutely perplexed over how much stuff they have. It’s a really horrible thing and should be taken very seriously. These unfortunate people have to spend tons of money day after day just to fill their SUVS only to have that gas get them a few blocks away. Yet the money just keeps coming (oh the humanity). It is so hard for them to find parking spaces let alone park properly; they shouldn’t have to park far away and walk just because they own an SUV. They should be able to park up front just like all the lucky people with small cars (see exhibit A, below). Its discrimination, the parking spaces should be bigger. Just like making a fat person purchase two airplane tickets because they take up twice the space. It’s not their fault they’re fat (usually it’s McDonald’s fault). There fore SUV owners shouldn’t be forced to squeeze into one undersized spot. Don’t blame them if they park too close, they’re completely innocent (See exhibit B, below). This is a plague that hasn’t had a resolution. Well have no fear; I am officially creating the SUV relief fund. All of you SUV owners can send the extra cash that is putting such strain on your life to me. I will graciously accept this burden from you and find a way to dispose of it properly, respectively, and professionally (like on strippers). Once you have offloaded enough weight you can then buy a smaller car (like a Mini Cooper See exhibit C, below). Think of it like liposuction for your wallet!

Please join me in the fight for SUV owner’s rights; let’s unite and cure this epidemic before it's too late.

All photos were taken by me, StoopidGirl