stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

SUV Relief Fund

Are you tired of having too much money? Is being rich (or at least faking like you’re rich) having too much of a burden on you? It has come to my attention recently that there must be some stressed individuals in the world over having too much of everything. Day after day I see these poor souls who must be absolutely perplexed over how much stuff they have. It’s a really horrible thing and should be taken very seriously. These unfortunate people have to spend tons of money day after day just to fill their SUVS only to have that gas get them a few blocks away. Yet the money just keeps coming (oh the humanity). It is so hard for them to find parking spaces let alone park properly; they shouldn’t have to park far away and walk just because they own an SUV. They should be able to park up front just like all the lucky people with small cars (see exhibit A, below). Its discrimination, the parking spaces should be bigger. Just like making a fat person purchase two airplane tickets because they take up twice the space. It’s not their fault they’re fat (usually it’s McDonald’s fault). There fore SUV owners shouldn’t be forced to squeeze into one undersized spot. Don’t blame them if they park too close, they’re completely innocent (See exhibit B, below). This is a plague that hasn’t had a resolution. Well have no fear; I am officially creating the SUV relief fund. All of you SUV owners can send the extra cash that is putting such strain on your life to me. I will graciously accept this burden from you and find a way to dispose of it properly, respectively, and professionally (like on strippers). Once you have offloaded enough weight you can then buy a smaller car (like a Mini Cooper See exhibit C, below). Think of it like liposuction for your wallet!

Please join me in the fight for SUV owner’s rights; let’s unite and cure this epidemic before it's too late.

All photos were taken by me, StoopidGirl


At 6/1/06, 7:39 PM, Blogger Laggard said...

hmm... I am sure that I am not a SUV. Exhibit C looks awesome. I have to think about what's my next car again now.

At 6/1/06, 7:52 PM, Blogger Stoopidgirl said...

I vote Mini!!!!!! mini mini mini...did I say Mini?

At 6/2/06, 6:19 AM, Anonymous Joefish said...

You'll be sharing pictures of the strippers, right?

At 6/2/06, 8:18 AM, Blogger deetour said...

I support MINI use wholeheartedly.

At 6/2/06, 11:36 AM, Blogger Stoopidgirl said...

Joe-Last time I tried to take pictures of strippers I got kicked out...and it was a private party in a Vegas hotel room (damn hookers)

Dee-there's a shocker :P

At 6/2/06, 2:01 PM, Blogger ♥ Christina ♥ said...

Haha! I love this post! Greatness indeed! Of course, everyone should be driving a MINI! Makes parking easier, among other things!

Have a great weekend :D

xx, Chrissy

At 6/2/06, 2:24 PM, Blogger Lee said...

MLE, Great post! Your best one yet. I, however, dont think you should spend the money sent to you on paying for strippers, as Tuls should be stripping for free to you by now.... Back on topic, I love the photos you posted, it is so true. We laugh at the SUV's zooming by at 90 MPH on the freeway. Especially since we see them pull off the next exit to fill for gas. MINI- ON!

At 6/2/06, 3:33 PM, Blogger Stoopidgirl said...

yay, I'm so glad I have some Mini friends who read my blog!

I took all these pictures very recently. All though it's hard to tell that

Exhibit A is parked up on the curb and is pulled only half into the parking space.

Exhibit B busted me taking the photos, the mazda belongs to a classmate of mine who couldn't get in her car to leave. The owner moved his SUV and was like "I really hoped the Mazda didn't belong to a classmate." We were both like "Well, it did...and you should learn how to park that's why you already have a huge door ding!"
I tried to take photos of his passenger side door but the 2 foot indent from someone elses door didn't photograph well. Serves him right.

At 6/2/06, 3:49 PM, Blogger battlecattle said...

you know I think the checkmate is infringing on that IB/B.... watch your tailpipe IB!!!!

yes... i have the same feelings about A and B and B would so get a flat tire...


At 6/2/06, 8:48 PM, Anonymous bobby said...

heh, good post. My brother has a dodge ram and it costs him like $70 to fill his the very least.

At 6/7/06, 12:11 AM, Blogger bbrown said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 6/7/06, 8:25 AM, Blogger Stoopidgirl said...

battle-If it were my car it happened to I thing a flat tire would have been in store

Bobby-It took me $40 just to fill my MINI! Ack!

BBrown-I tried to email you but your profile and links aren't working. But yes That would be me. Which means I know where you work...muwah ha ha...but I won't list it due to trying to keep internet stalkers to a minimum. If you ever see me feel free to stop and say hi. I haven't seen yours out there yet but I'll keep an eye out.

At 6/7/06, 8:58 AM, Anonymous bbrown said...

I've moved on from Blogger several times over, but I keep it because I've got such a low number and I occasionally need to comment on sites like yours.

I just Buzz, my Mini, on Sunday so there wouldn't be much chance for you to see it. I'll say hi if I see you around and I'm not in my office.


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