stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

It's up! It's up!

My Motor Trend Article is online! Yaaaaaay!

In case you missed my first post (slackers) I'm writing an article for Motor trend about "Mini takes the States" (huge Mini Cooper event) can be found here
I am hopping on the road for the next two weeks and will be updating the article/journal with pictures and nifty stuff as much as possible. I got front page (yay), please help me keep it that way and spread the word! (insert obligatory guilt trip, if you love me you will repost)
Thanks for the support

I have arrived

and it was not in style, just true Emiy fashion.

As many of you know I finally decided to get out of Scottsdale. I didn’t mind the place, it just wasn’t for me. As of yesterday I have officially left the state of Arizona and headed for sunny California. I had planned to leave by 5am Saturday morning but there was this nagging feeling that I would be lazy and not leave until much later, there for thrusting me into oodles of icky traffic (you like all those descriptive words don’t you?). This nagging feeling is what woke me up at 3am. Eek! Unable to sleep I hopped in my little pink Mini Cooper, jam packed with stuff and took off. It’s crazy how many things I squeezed into that car, I really wish I had taken a picture; I don’t think David Copperfield could have done a better job. I have now been in California a full 24 hours, within this time frame I have gotten thrown onto 2 totally different highways forcing me to go way out of the way only to turn around.

The first incident was on my way into town, I was tired, the two Redbulls I had drank weren’t doing me any good and my salsa flavored Cheez-Its were not satisfying my tummy. I once again had a nagging feeling. I called someone who was like “Ooh your fine, just keep going the directions are right.” So I did. After passing several signs telling me my destination was in the complete opposite direction and a sign saying I had just crossed the San Diego line I knew I was in trouble. I went over 40 miles out of my way and showed up about an hour later then I should have and almost fell on my face when I stepped out of the car due to a full bladder. When you take a wrong turn and finally get on the right path, all you want to do is get there. Screw the bladder, it can wait (all though California’s very bumpy roads didn’t help). One wrong turn down, one to go.

I tried to take a nap to catch up on my lack of sleep and exhaustion from the drive. Nope, once again I was out of luck. A friend of mine called and invited me to dinner. Sweet I’m starved and they’re only 5 miles away. My lovely directions from a well known website, once again looked so easy. Two right turns and a left, no problem, I’ll be there in no time! I found the first right turn ok but then the road split into two highways, uh oh. Think Emily think, which way do I go? I went strait. As soon as I did, I realized the stinking roads out here lie. The other direction, the way I should have gone was not a highway! How can they call that a highway, it could be a street, road, boulevard or even Avenue but not highway! What is the deal out here? This is the 2nd time for crying out loud. No problem I thought, I’ll just get off at the next exit and turn around. Well the next exit was 2 more highways so I skipped it and drove ten more miles to the next real exit only to find out I had to drive another mile, make an illegal u-turn in order to get back on the highway. Ok few, I’m going back in the same direction and oh look, there’s an exit for the road I had been looking for in the first place. Cool, I’ll take it. No sooner do I get to the off-ramp do I realize the exit is forcing me to go right and drive strait through the LAX airport with no u-turns allowed. I actually said very loudly “You have got to be f*cking kidding me?!” another illegal u-turn later and I was finally going in the right direction (again). I arrived minutes later only to realize the street I was suppose to turn left on doesn’t go left because left has a different name but I went left because that’s what the directions told me. Are you still with me? Yeah? Well guess what? I was supposed to go right. My 5 mile trek turned into a half hour ordeal. But dinner was good and today I found $6 on the ground next to my Mini. Someone must have thought she was Stripper pink! Hahahaha…I’m going to go frivolously spend my $6 on whatever the hell I want because I deserve it damnit.

Dear California,
Please fix your highway names, signs (or lack there of) and pot holes. My Mini hates your roads and so do I. To put it nicely, They suck!
Thank you
Your disgruntled new tenant

Thank you for the money but it will take a lot more than $6 to make me like you but I am bribable.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Track ME!

Ok guys here's another quick update as I'm extremely busy trying to get ready for the move to California and the Mini Takes the States trip Aug. 21st to September 5th, don't forget to keep an eye out for my Article/Journal at Motor Trend's Website it should be titled "Words from MINI Takes the States" and posted this Monday(possibly in the travel section)!
List of locations;
Day 1 - Monday, August 21
Start: Monterey, CA to Santa Barbara, CA
Day 2 - Tuesday, August 22
Santa Barbara, CA to Las Vegas, NV
Day 3 - Wednesday, August 23
Las Vegas, NV to Flagstaff, AZ
Day 4 - Thursday, August 24
Flagstaff, AZ to Albuquerque, NM
Day 5 - Friday, August 25
Albuquerque, NM to Amarillo, TX
Day 6 - Saturday, August 26
Amarillo, TX to Dallas, TX
Day 7 - Sunday, August 27
Dallas, TX to Memphis,TN
Day 8 - Monday, August 28
Memphis, TN to Nashville, TN
Day 9 - Tuesday, August 29
Nashville, TN to St Louis, MO
Day 10 - Wednesday, August 30
St Louis, MO to Indianapolis, IN
Day 11 - Thursday, August 31
Indianapolis, IN to Charleston, WV
Day 12 - Friday, September 1
Charleston, WV to Charlottesville, VA
Day 13 - Saturday, September 2
Charlottesville, VA to Washington, DC
Day 14 - Sunday, September 3
Washington, DC to Jersey City, NJ
Day 15 - Monday, September 4
Jersey City, NJ End; Lakeville, CT

Saturday, August 12, 2006

The big news is finally here!

StoopidGirl takes the states
(now you know why I've dissapeared for a while)

Well guys, its official! I have been given the chance of a lifetime. Not only am I moving to Los Angeles at the end of this week, a large British Mini Cooper Magazine is running an article on my car PinkSlip and me (more info soon), but I get to embark on the entire jaunt that is; Mini Takes the States! (MTTS)

Somebody up in those clouds for what ever reason really loves me this month. I don’t know why but they do, I get to run around, be silly, take loads of photos, cruise with the astonishing Fireballed! Race team, and….and…oh yeah (minor detail) write a daily journal for Motor Trend Magazine’s website about the whole thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Insert my best pep talk voice) Can I get wittiness?! Hallelujah my brothers and sisters! The day has come! Let us rejoice and drive our little cars from one coast to the next spreading the gospel that is Mini!


Ok back to the information;

I will not have my pink Mini on the trip but I will be riding and found in the general vicinity of the Fireballed! Team Racers. I will also be lugging around my camera as well as some other goodies. If you have anything interesting you think I should take photos of, want to hear about the spiffy things I might be carrying or just want to say hello please do so! I’m quite friendly I swear.

The Motor Trend journal has not been named yet so feel free to give me suggestions. It will be located on their website as soon as MTTS starts, so for those of you who can’t make it and want to follow a long or just want to hear my rambling and see what/who’s photos made the cut please check it out.

See you guys one the road!

For my non Mini friends or anyone who might be interested in finding me on this journey;

Mini Takes the States is a 2 week long road trip with approximately 4000 other Mini Cooper owners. It starts on August 21st in Monterey, California and ends September 4th in Lakeville, Connecticut. For more info please go to and click the Mini Takes the States link for gives loads of information about the trip and events. I might be coming to a town near you!The Fireballed! Team Racers

The Fireballed! Trailer we'll be toating around

Some of the people making this trip possible for me are;

Motor Trend Magazine

Fireballed! Racing

Autotech Interiors

Rogue Minis

Mynes Performance

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Well I'm not a total idiot

I figured out the "Pee" problem I was having on my previous post. I am currently sitting at my desk with a wet ass yet again. This time I stood up after using the toilet and felt the wetness hit my arm from my sweater. WTF? I thought, I made EXTRA sure that my long sweater did not go anywhere near my stream this time. The toilets we have at work are the typical office building ones with the tall metal tube and metal flushing until on the backside. The damn thing is leaking so when I sit down, my sweater is hitting the tube and absorbing all the (cough) water. Judging by the smell I am going to assume it is not "jus" water. I don't know what is worse, being a total idiot and peeing on my sweater or possibly wearing other peoples pee? Damn that first stall! I will boycott it from now one for it is evil and will be added to my ever growing list of satanic appliances sent to earth by the Devil to be the bain of my existence.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Having a bad day?

Be glad you're not me.

It started out a great day. I woke up all happy with pep in my step. I didn't mind going to work because I was full on ready to put in my 2 week notice and move to California in 2 weeks because both job interviews I had last week went really well. Then I find out the job I really wanted hired someone biggie, I'll take my 2nd choice it's a shorter drive (bonus). Then I find out from someone else (not the employer) that I'm "over qualified" which translates to, "We don't want someone who's going to move up the food chain because we've been at this job 20 years and we're losers, so why would we hire someone who will give us competition and make us look bad? Sorry we think you're to human to work here!" (grrrrrr)

Insert bad mood and beginning of headache, all hope is lost, I need a hug...watery puppy eyes are becoming noticeable to those around me and they are becoming suspicious.

Then my bosses take away more resources and give us new tasks on top of our already impossible workload making my departments' job completely ridiculous, but what do they care?

I get back to my desk after meandering around trying not to burst into the song MY CUBICLE(listen to it! it will make you giggle) very loudly because I'm going insane and quitting regardless of the risk. All of a sudden I feel something wet on my butt....hmmmm? What could that be? I don't know, I ignore it and it goes away. A few hours later I sit down and realize my butt is wet again! WTF? I'm not do for my "girly issues" for a little while...hmmmm? Then I realize I must have accidentally dropped the back of my jacket-length sweater in the toilet and peed all over it, not once but TWICE! (only me) I say the hell with it! I'm mad, I want to go home, and I can't find my boyfriend, so I march my butt into human resources and in the middle of announcing my resignation with an evil grin on my face I realize I smell like PEE! (nice Emily...real nice)

For some reason people felt the need to come hug me after I sent out my mass "I'm outy 5000"email and tell me they'll miss me, I suppose it makes me feel a little better but it didn't stop me from feeling the need to tell them to keep a 5 foot distance because I smelled like a bum after a sweet night of partying, passing out and pissing their pants. Maybe I will fit in in
Los Angeles after all. Hey(don't blame me), I'm just trying to look on the bright side.

California here I come!