stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

The "Woo Hoo" heard around the world

So lately things in my life have been crazy. There’s been some ups and plenty of downs but through it all I do my best to turn my nervous energy into funny energy so as to keep anyone who is listening entertained. Well today as I frantically run around my house getting ready for yet another move (and hopefully the last), I walk to my mailbox and pray for goodness to be inside. I put the key in and turn the lock squinting my eyes in fear of a giant bill-monster who is going to jump out and paper-cut me to death. The door swings open and I see something big…ok sort of big but when you’re afraid of what’s behind door #1 anything looks big. Brown packaging? Hmmm? What could it be? For the life of me I am having a giant brain fart. It looks like it went through customs and the return address is unfamiliar. I start thinking the worst, it’s thick…like paperwork…paperwork is usually bad….no no no, eww paperwork, noooooo go away big bad scary things I don’t want you! My hands are getting a little nervous as I tear open the envelope. Within seconds my frightened soul is instantly turned to something far more ridiculous than a little puppy who’s about to piddle on floor with excitement. As loudly as one can think without looking totally crazy my brain says “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”. Here is something I’ve been so excited about and has been very hard for me to not really say anything (I can’t be counting any chickens before they hatch) but I’ve been waiting for so long I sort of forgot about it. It’s the spanking new magazine called HOT NEW MINI which is born from the ashes of our dearly missed NEW MINI mag and guess who’s inside!? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (insert me doing a non rhythmic version of the happy dance).
I plopped my butt down not even wanting to wait until I got back inside and start reading. As I’m reading I’m giggling and making silly faces like “Did I say that? Hahaha!” or “Hey I didn’t know my car was lowered!” the woman next to me waiting to sign her lease and move into our complex is probably rethinking the idea because crazy people live here. It was all I could do not to shove it in her face knowing she didn’t speak English and say “See that! That’s me! ME ME ME ME MEEEEE!”

So there you have it folks, I have my first official magazine spread and it looks sweet! I was a little nervous because I never saw a proof so I had no idea what it was going to look like. All in all they did a great job, the only major mistake was I didn’t get full credit for the photos (only partial) which stinks since they are all mine and photos are my #1 passion (MINIs being #2) oh well, no biggy.

I’m not sure when the issue hits shelves but it may already be there or it will be any day now.

As always thanks for listening and letting me share. My life wouldn’t be the same without all you guys! It’s funny but the MINI community is my second family so thanks. Here’s a sneak peak but go support the magazine and pick up a copy! (oooh my parents will love it!)

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Blink of an eye

It’s funny how fast things can change sometimes. Here I am these days with all my whininess, my “I wants”, and my blah blah blah. When it rains it pours and for a few days I was having some serious rainstorms. Then the day after Thanksgiving hit and with the blink of an eye (almost literally) things changed for the better. I’m still a nervous ball of energy about how things are going but I’m one of those people who believes everything happens for a reason. I know I’m being a bit cryptic about things, unfortunately for parties involved I have to be. On the upside I’ll be moving (yes again) down to the San Diego area. I’m still homesick and want to go back east but I’m going to snatch up some great opportunities while I can and hope that some serious awesomeness will rise from these ashes. It’s a much nicer area than Los Angeles, it’s cheaper and I have friends there who would fit right in with the people I’ve known for the 11 years I spent in North Carolina so maybe the East coast won’t feel so far away after all.

here's a picture of a bridge I took to keep you entertained while I think of something rediculously whitty to write about

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Nothing happenned when I woke up

now I WANT to go back to bed...everything is the same...well, that traffic ticket got paid but I can't say that was a good thing...just one less thing .

Monday, November 20, 2006

I want! I want! I want!

I want to wake up tomorrow and have my internet connection work right for the 1st time in 2 months, I want to have those $129 in phone calls I didn’t make erased off my bill (having a signal would be nice too, how do I make that many calls with NO signal! You tell me!?), I want my ass to miraculously shrink and look like a supermodels’, I want my MINI to be freshly waxed and have a garage of her very own, I want my bills paid without me having to do it, I want my boyfriend to quit being allergic to cats (ok that’s just me being selfish), I want to move far far away, I want a job I enjoy and get paid what I’m worth….I want a house not an apartment or maybe a castle…even a Lego one…or even made out of pancakes…mmmm…paaaaaaancakes smothered in butter and sticky syrupy goodness.

Hey look! A happy little photo I took that totally belongs on a Mothers' Day card...(I think I just vomited)

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Yes I'm evil

Most of us have seen that birth control commercial circulating the internet…well…I swear I just saw that kid at the grocery store.

I’m standing in line, minding my own business as usual when the child belonging to the woman in front of me runs up to the quick grab shelves and goes right for the disposable 35mm cameras

Spawn of Satan; “Mommy! Mommy! I want a camera!”

Satan; “No honey you have one at home.”

The kid starts in with the quivering lip and all the prelude stuff to what’s going to be very loud whaling when he notices the candy shelves. Immediately his devilish evil child grin is back.

Spawn of Satan; “Mommy! Mommy! I want bubblegum!” as he grabs the gum determined it’s already his.

Satan; “No honey you don’t need any gum.”

Spawn of Satan; “But IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII don’t have any at home!!!!!” insert beginning of the quivering lip again and all that is about to proceed.

Satan; “No honey you don’t need any gum.” Like a broken record

Cashier Lady; “How about a lollipop!” hoping to sooth what is about to pierce her ears she hands the mom a left over Halloween lollipop complete with a frosting ghost on the front.

Satan; “I don’t want a lollipop! I want my guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!” with the thought proccess that he already has the lolli now maybe he can have both the tears have set in and screaming is a millisecond away as he slams the gum back onto the shelf and reluctantly steps toward the lollipop.

Spawn of Satan; “I don’t waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant a lollipop!” Mid sentence his water eyes miraculously disappear, his lip quits quivering again and all of a sudden the lollipop is the greatest thing ever. He is now the most excited spawn of Satan I have ever seen, he is starting to bounce out of his shoes as he exclaims, “Mommy! Mommy! This is the biggest lollipop in the whole world!”

Satan doesn’t seem to be listening, she's too busy paying for the groceries, so the spawn gets happier with the thought of his new item and announces it again even more excited and bouncy this time with eyes lit up like giant christmas lights.

Spawn of Satan; “Mommy! Mommy! This is the biggest lollipop in the whole WOR….!”

WHAM! The Lollipop smashes into the ground and I can’t help but think;

“Well…now you have the world’s largest broken lollipop!” at this point it was impossible to not laugh out loud and both the cashier and Satan turn and look at me to see what is so funny and I shrug, “Cute kid.”

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I'm famous again

sort of…(insert obligatory bragging) For the last few years I’ve been thrown into this whirlwind we call the automotive industry. It started out with MINI Coopers and has branched off to other things. I’ve been fortunate in my experiences, met some great people and been having a blast. I’ve done everything from writing/photographing for MotorTrend (among other magazines & websites), getting to drive on some of the most famous race tracks in the US, going to big auto shows and lighting my head on fire (don’t ask). Recently I was lucky enough to be involved in an event called MINI Takes the States (MTTS) where we drove cross country with thousands of MINI owners. During the trip I stole the camera belonging to…and they left me in the show. So if you’re a MINI fan or not I wanted to share the fun and let you put a face with the name.

midway through episode 2 of MTTS you can see me…I was sober I swear!
MTTS Videos
As always, thanks for looking!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

PInk Slip Got some backdoor action!

Yes that’s right…my dirty little MINI went and got herself some back door action, shame on her! Well, I can’t say it was entirely her fault.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you backed your MINI into a gigantic trailer hitch? ME NEITHER but I found out one evening when the Fireballed race trailer decided to jump right in the way when I was backing up. You know…kind of like what trees do really late at night when you start to get sleepy and tired of driving. Those enormous stationary objects sure are tricky. This is not the first time for my poor MINI. We were in LA one time before (back when she was still green) when some (cough) unnamed fellow backed her into a key fob at an apartment building. I suppose I was to blame on that one too with the “Hey what’s that!” comment which was not referring to the object that proceeded to bugger my car. She has since been stripped like Paris Hilton and put back together like something out of a B-rated horror movie. This just goes to show that every day I earn my nickname more and more, for those of you who tell me I should change it, “they don’t call me Stoopid for Nothin!”

Here Be the perpetrator

Here be the results

Here be the boyfriend oh so happy about cleaning up me mess...arrr