FrankenFeet

This is an older story of mine but for some reason it was never posted over here. I also submitted this in my creative writing class for an assignment, I don't remember the teacher being too amused. So for todays post I subject you to;
FRANKENFEET!

I don't get it. I don't get it. I don't get it! Today I came to work just like any other day. I was pleasantly minding my own business when, WHAM! One of my coworkers walks by with sandals on. Did I just see what I thought I just saw? Yes sir, I sure did! There it was one lonesome, mangled toe. It was long, curved and hanging over the end of his sandal waving and saying "Top of the morning' to ya!”

I kid you not, the little guy just winked at me rendering me speechless and frozen to my spot with eyes glued downward. Seeing this atrocity brought to mind a few very important questions. What is worse, showing off five scary frankentoes, or just the one? I am guessing the others ran away in fright because they are most certainly not attached. What is my can of chunky chicken noodle soup I brought for lunch made of? I think I now know where the other toes ran off to. And last but not least isn’t it easier to manicure feet with a total of six toes rather than ten? It appears I may be wrong.

This is not the first time I have encountered such a shock resulting in a shutdown of all my verbal skills. I once had a friend who was a chronic sandal wearer (I fear the coworker might be as well). He had this one toe with two nails on it like little horns. I understand being proud of who you are. All I ask is, do not get mad at me when I can not focus on your eyes while having a deep philosophical conversation with you because my attention is focused on little baby Igor. He looks cold, you should tuck him in. PLEASE! For crying out loud, put the bugger away. I am not in the mood to play with him and give him kisses. “Oogy boooogy boo, does wittle baby Igor want to pway?” Now you would think that only common folk are struck with this desire to show off their mangled midgets, but nooo. One of the most famous people on this planet likes to show off their little piggies. Then again, I have always suspected Paris Hilton was an alien.