stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

McFarty Pants

While sitting at dinner last night and conversing about my friends girlfriend who won't fart for a year and then lets out the built up cloud of gas strait from the depths of hell, I thought of something.
Yes McFartypants gave me a genius idea. As many know, I am a hair Stylist. Well think about the torture someone like me endures when a case of gas hits? If I am in the middle of doing someones' hair, I can't move. If I excuse myself it trails me back and holding it just never seems to be an option. I usually just grab my blow drier (if timing is appropriate) and claim I'm blowing the snippets of hair off their neck while conveniently having bad aim to wisp away the stinky doomdom from my ass.
There seems to be some miraculous new technology with air neutralizers. These sprays are amazing but unfortunately I think my client might figure out what I'm up to if I were to stop what I'm doing and start spraying it in the general vicinity.So I think someone needs to make a pair of underwear with a type of ventilation filter built into the ass. Like an air neutralizing trap for gas! I mean seriously, it wouldn't be that hard to do and it wouldn't need to be bulky. Just a pocket in the back of your undies where you place the new pad each time you wear through one. It could even have a little censor meter that tells you when the little ionic particles run low and it needs to be changed.
Now to find financial backing for my invention...someone will steal this idea for sure!

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3 Comments:

At 1/6/08, 12:32 PM, Blogger Chris said...

You've got the smell part covered, but don't forget to buy Roberts Toot-Tone product:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDXWlOLsJkM

 
At 1/6/08, 3:31 PM, Blogger blalor said...

Such a thing already exists! http://www.flat-d.com/flatulence.html

 
At 2/20/08, 8:08 AM, Anonymous agranger said...

Or here: http://www.under-tec.com/store.php

It's definately not Victoria's Secret... more like Bob-the-morbidly-obese-plumber's Secret!

 

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