stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Having a bad day?

Be glad you're not me.

It started out a great day. I woke up all happy with pep in my step. I didn't mind going to work because I was full on ready to put in my 2 week notice and move to California in 2 weeks because both job interviews I had last week went really well. Then I find out the job I really wanted hired someone biggie, I'll take my 2nd choice it's a shorter drive (bonus). Then I find out from someone else (not the employer) that I'm "over qualified" which translates to, "We don't want someone who's going to move up the food chain because we've been at this job 20 years and we're losers, so why would we hire someone who will give us competition and make us look bad? Sorry we think you're to human to work here!" (grrrrrr)

Insert bad mood and beginning of headache, all hope is lost, I need a hug...watery puppy eyes are becoming noticeable to those around me and they are becoming suspicious.

Then my bosses take away more resources and give us new tasks on top of our already impossible workload making my departments' job completely ridiculous, but what do they care?

I get back to my desk after meandering around trying not to burst into the song MY CUBICLE(listen to it! it will make you giggle) very loudly because I'm going insane and quitting regardless of the risk. All of a sudden I feel something wet on my butt....hmmmm? What could that be? I don't know, I ignore it and it goes away. A few hours later I sit down and realize my butt is wet again! WTF? I'm not do for my "girly issues" for a little while...hmmmm? Then I realize I must have accidentally dropped the back of my jacket-length sweater in the toilet and peed all over it, not once but TWICE! (only me) I say the hell with it! I'm mad, I want to go home, and I can't find my boyfriend, so I march my butt into human resources and in the middle of announcing my resignation with an evil grin on my face I realize I smell like PEE! (nice Emily...real nice)

For some reason people felt the need to come hug me after I sent out my mass "I'm outy 5000"email and tell me they'll miss me, I suppose it makes me feel a little better but it didn't stop me from feeling the need to tell them to keep a 5 foot distance because I smelled like a bum after a sweet night of partying, passing out and pissing their pants. Maybe I will fit in in
Los Angeles after all. Hey(don't blame me), I'm just trying to look on the bright side.

California here I come!


At 8/5/06, 2:22 PM, Blogger Chris said...

But if you leave, who will flick boogers across the cubicles?

Best of luck to you in LA!

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At 8/7/06, 12:06 AM, Anonymous J/C said...

Now that was a unique method of telling them to pissoff!

At 8/7/06, 1:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's stories like this that make me love you sooooo much. I hope eveything works out for you in LA. But I can't resist saying that I hope it works out better for you on the East Coast later, hehehehe.
Who knows, I might get a wild hair up my ass to relocate one of these days. And I think I could picture myself in a mini. I think it may be my next car. When I decide the time is right. How expensive is the upkeep?

At 8/7/06, 7:13 PM, Blogger Lee said...

MLE.. Welcome to Cali, well soon anyway! Hope to finally meet you in person, and see you on a Socal, or Midcal GTG or Drive!! Hope your day is better today!!


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