stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

I don't think we're in Kansas any more Toto

I woke up in a parallel universe today. All day today things are out of the norm for me. It started at 5:30 this morning with my boyfriend waking up and leaving the house before me (weird thing #1). No big deal I thought, it’ll be a nice day alone, I don’t get those very often (if ever). I woke up and moped downstairs to find that my internet wasn’t working (weird thing #2). So I called my boyfriend. He used his friend’s computer to check the bill and found out that it was late, so we paid it. I don’t believe they shut it off because the cable TV still works. I started to get a little annoyed but not so bad. Out of my boredom and inability to get online I decided for the first time in over 5 years I would walk into a salon and get my hair cut. I was nervous as all hell because up until a few months ago I was a hairdresser and knew the people cutting my hair. Amazingly and against all laws of hairdressers she actually cut my hair how I told her without any problems (weird thing #3). I decided with this stroke of luck I would go shopping which I also hadn’t done in a very long time which went pretty normal, I tried on 6 pairs of pants and 1 shirt…the shirt fit and not one pair of pants did (that’s normal). I then went to the counter with my whopping $6.99 purchase where an old wheezy and I mean wheezy (scary) old lady proceeded to wheeze on the back of my neck. I would inch up a little to get away from her and she would inch up closer (weird thing #4). Finally as I was about to turn around and say, “Would you please get out of my fucking bubble and keep your phlegm of my neck you freak!” I got called to the newly opened register…THANK GOD! Aggravated by the purchase of clothes I did not make I decided to do anything a girl who can’t squeeze into a new pair of pants would do. I proceeded to Starbucks for a caramel frapaccino and some kind of sugary goodie to make myself feel better. On the way there I hear a car coming up fast with loud gear changes and revving of the engine. Obviously it’s someone who wants to race me in my little pink Mini Cooper. Ok I thought, I’m down, I could let of a little steam right now. Just as I’m about to floor it I look over to see another old lady in her gold old lady car go sputtering by (weird thing #5). What the hell was that? Oh well, no racing for me I suppose. I stop at the gas station and gas up my fuel efficient go-cart of a car. $35! For a Mini! (Weird thing #6). Well at least I’ll have my Starbucks. I walk inside to find them out of goodies, (damnit) I grab my drink, my heaven in a cup and walk out the door. I take a sip and….and….and…STARBUCKS MAKES A BAD CUP OF COFFEE! (Weird thing #7)

Ps
In Arizona it was ONLY 99degrees outside today (weird thing #8) and I saw a mexican surfer being interviewed on the spanish channel but he was speaking English, anyone else agree with me that it's a bit odd (weird thing#9). I fixed my internet as you can see (weird thing #10) and there's still 10 usable hours left in my day....I wonder what else will venture my way? Or maybe I shouldn't ask.

4 Comments:

At 9/4/05, 7:09 PM, Blogger deetour said...

I hope the old lady gold car was not really gold and actually beige or taupe. Gives us all us "goldies" a bad name.
Peace out.

 
At 9/4/05, 9:40 PM, Blogger Stoopidgirl said...

you're gonna be such a cute, short old lady, driving in your little gold car...I just want to pinch your cheeks.

 
At 9/5/05, 12:46 AM, Blogger deetour said...

OK, but maybe just the ones on my face.

 
At 9/5/05, 9:15 AM, Blogger Stoopidgirl said...

damnit! I sooo wanted to pinch the other ones!

 

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