stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006


A little background; I have a friend who just got horribly dumped by an evil psychotic wench. But that's ok, his cat pooped on her couch moments before she had her friends mom call him while he was at work to let him know that he was being dumped and he needed to go home and pack his things. That's worse then an email or text message dumping, the psycho has set an all time new low-blow record, it's going to be hard to beat. My friend and I know a mutual person who annoys us both and drools over him constantly, she also had skin that's dry, flaky and like a cheese grater. The following is a conversation between the two of us and for the sake of privacy I have changed his name.

SVEN; "Don't mention to our friend that I'm single now. She'll probably want me to make a house call. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"

ME; "She wants the cock!"

SVEN; "Bleaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!"

ME; "I think Absinthe will come in handy for getting the deed done!"

SVEN; "That an a loofa to get rid of all that dead skin...... gross!!!!!"

ME; "I thought you liked cornflakes?"

SVEN; "Barf dood. Im going to eat lunch soon!!!"

ME; "You want some milk?"

SVEN; "I try to never look below her neckline. I cant even imagine what they'd look like."

ME; "Well just think, they would double as a tongue scraper!"


The end


At 5/25/06, 8:02 AM, Anonymous Joefish said...

Ok, so his name's not actually Sven. Is it still ok that I picture him with a thick Scandinavian accent like that boner on the commercials?

At 5/25/06, 10:46 PM, Blogger Stoopidgirl said...

sure...maybe I'll make him fake an accent so I can point and laugh at him even more.

At 5/26/06, 7:15 AM, Anonymous Joefish said...

See, now you're just rubbing it in. You've got a fake Swede to laugh at and I don't.

At 5/27/06, 7:45 AM, Blogger Chris said...

Holy shit that was an underhanded break up method. I guess to top that someone would have to the boyfriend's own parents call him to tell him the bad news.

Smart cat.

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