stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Oh dear lord

I just got the Bajesus scared out of me while taking out the trash. Yep, you heard me right. Little Miss Emily about pooped in her pants due to something furry making noise. It's totally unlike me to get excited or show any form of emotion (trust me it's true...I type emotion but actually showing it is a different story). I have to be honest, I wasn't truly scared...ok maybe for like 2 seconds when I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on in my dumpster. I went to take the trash out (somewhat tipsey off wine) when I heard some rustling in the trash heap of my apartment complex. Oooooh I started getting excited and curious...what could this be? Probably a cat. I thought but when I quietly peered over the edge of the container like a wild animal sneaking up on it's prey, I saw something much larger than I had expected. Between my poor eyesight and low lighting it looked like the back of a very large boar. But how in the world would a boar be able to climb into a dumpster? Maybe it's a bear? Or a Mountain lion! Without hesitation I hightailed it back inside to grab my camera. I quietly creeped back up on the unsuspecting creature and held my camera over the ledge assuring I was out of harm’s way in case some teeth and claw toting monster jumped out and attacked my face like a hungry Anna Nicole Smith. I was able to snap 3 photos of the perpetrator before they ran off...yep...I said they. Not only is my new apartment-complex home to snails, lizards, and wittle runny babbits but it is home to RACOONS! Woooooooooo to the mutha fuckin hooooooooooo! I was kinda sad they ran away so quickly but I left them some homemade stir-fry and quite frankly the first decent meal I've made in probably my whole life. I hope they come back.

Here’s what I was able to capture, yay.


At 1/26/07, 9:37 PM, Blogger deetour said...


At 1/27/07, 10:31 AM, Blogger Chris said...

My parents' home in Florida backs up to forest/marsh along the St John's River. When they put food out, they can have up to 15-20 raccoons in their back yard at one time.

They had to cut back on giving them food because they were becoming dependent on them and getting fat.

Did you offer them any wine?

Have a great weekend!
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