stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Traffic Diaries #2

In a previously posted blog I entered a very valuable life lesson and that was " Never drive a pink Mini will lose all privacy to pick your nose while driving."

While sitting in my daily traffic routine I pulled up behind a fellow who was a young Quintin Tarentino look alike riding on a bright yellow scooter. As I came to a slow halt behind him he turned his head to the left which I can only assume was to feel like the people on his right could not see what he was doing which in turn gave me full view of an extreme nose picking episode. He was going to town; there must've been some kind of gold waiting up in them thar hills because at one point both thumb and index finger were crammed up the same nostril. As he dove further into the realms of the unknown my face became transformed. It was like there was an evil invisible ventriloquist floating above me pulling the strings to my mouth very slow and smooth creating the biggest upward curves to my lips. It was the kind of shit-eating smile you get when you know what will happen next and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it. Little did I know that not only what I was expecting to happen would, but I got a pleasant bonus. He ran his fingers right through his hair seconds after leaving the caverns of hope. There was no wiping of the digits involved, they dove straight into his short but primped forest on top of his head. Just when I thought the devil had possessed me and my smile couldn't get any bigger he looked in his rear view mirror and saw me with that grin that spoke words of terror "That's right buddy, you just got busted doing disgusting things by a hot chick in a ferociously pink Mini Cooper."
I'll give him credit, he played it off quite nicely pretending it never happened, kind of like when I farted during my back being cracked at the chiropractor. Every stop light after that he would do his best to get away from me by getting as close to the bumper of the person in front of him as possible. I'm talking less than a couple inches. My ride home was glorious, sometimes traffic is a beautiful and amazing thing. God bless the nose pickers.


Post a Comment

<< Home