stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Hate is such a strong word

yet it is so appropriate for the moment.

The Top 10 Sure Signs of PMS (at least the kind I get);

  1. The TV show "America's Next Top Model" makes you cry during the elimination round when you watch it to laugh at the model chicks crying over elimination.
  2. Nothing goes your way, including your cell phone that miraculously freezes up for no apparent reason and won't even turn off, not even when you take the battery out!
  3. You can harvest enough oil off your zitty forehead to power New York City for the next 3 years.
  4. Your ass now feels like a very large tug-boat as opposed to it's normal medium tug-boat size and you have to check behind you after standing up to make sure your chair isn't attached.
  5. Chocolate sounds real good right about now.
  6. You feel like the Creature from "Tremor's" is tunneling its' way through your' spine and an alien baby is going to pop out of your' stomach and sing the chorus "Hello my baby, Hello my Darlin'".
  7. Standing, sitting, moving, thinking, and lying down do not sound appealing.
  8. You have to poop something fierce.
  9. Your concentration has flown the coup like a bat out of hell.
  10. Nothing will make you smile, and if you do smile it will look incredibly fake.

So there you have it...Hate is a strong word, but I HATE CRAMPS! And right now HATE is the only word in my vocabulary...word of advice; STAY AWAY from a girl with PMS, she is evil. Unless of course you can overwhelm her with compliments, backrubs, hot baths and chocolate.

2 Comments:

At 12/6/05, 2:42 PM, Blogger Tüls said...

note to self...

"stay at friends house tonight"

 
At 12/9/05, 9:53 PM, Blogger Captain Cartoon said...

Mmmmm chocolate.

 

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