stoopid is

Chronicles of my constant mishaps and retarded nature.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Draining the Lizard

Well hello boys and girls! Today’s topic is pee. Yup, that’s right; we’re talking about the glorious golden stream that we call urine. I was on my long walk to bathroom which I take several times during the day allowing me to contemplate many things. As my bladder was swelling and urgency was taking over I realized I had not announced to the boys where I was headed off to. Not that it’s necessary to announce it, I just recall on numerous occasions that guys always feel the need to mention they are going to “Drain the Lizard”. Do we really need this visualization? Not really. Do they really have a little scaly cold blooded monster in their pants? Quite possibly. Why do they say it? Is it the polite way of saying “I’m going to go tinkle and quite possibly hit the toilet seat in the process”? Who knows?
All I know is I’m going to have a new fraise next time I march off to the porcelain thrown. “Hey guys, I’m going to go liquefy the taco!” Or “Pardon me while I go release my furburger’s special sauce!” Maybe even, “The bearded clam is going to throw up now.”

On that note it has been approximately 15 minutes since my lizard’s cave drained its waterbed…soon I will have revenge.

I thoroughly encourage you to add any other horribly wrong analogies you see fit.


At 9/19/06, 5:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let me know how they react to liquefy the taco. Better yet, video tape the look on their faces if you don't mind. I think that would be priceless!

I'll be sure to post some extra wrong analagies when I think of them.

<3 heather

At 9/22/06, 9:34 PM, Blogger Chris said...

How about "Uh oh, the little man in the boat has discovered a leak."

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